Anxiety
Anxiety is defined as feelings of worry, fear, apprehension or unease that occur in response to situations that we perceive to be dangerous or threatening. It is our body’s natural alarm system. It is a normal and healthy response that everyone will experience from time to time. Although anxiety feels unpleasant and uncomfortable it serves a purpose. Anxiety helps us stay safe by alerting us to danger. It motivates us to prepare for things like tests, presentations or job interviews and it can help us to perform better during competitions or performances by increasing energy and enhancing our ability to focus.
What is it like?
For some people, anxiety can be extremely intense, overwhelming and out of proportion to the situation. Their alarm system is on high alert, is easily triggered and senses danger when it’s not necessary. Anxiety becomes a mental health concern when it interferes in our ability to enjoy life and keeps us from doing the things we want to do and need to do.
Anxiety affects the way we feel (uncomfortable physical sensations), the way we think (worries, oh no, something bad is going to happen) and the way we behave (avoidance, I’m not doing that. I’m out of here).
Many teenagers experience high anxiety at school or in new social situations. They believe they might say something stupid or do something embarrassing and others will not like them. These thoughts and feelings can make it hard to focus and concentrate in class, attend school or other public places and interact with others.
If you experience anxiety you may identify with some of the following symptoms:
- Physical symptoms: tense muscles, dizziness, pounding, racing heart, fast, shallow breathing, upset stomach, tingling, shakiness, tightness in chest, dry mouth
- Feelings: afraid, irritable, stressed, uptight, panicky, worried, angry
- Thinking patterns: worrying about the “What if’s” happening, imagining worst case scenarios, believing danger is around the corner, mind jumping from worry to worry
- Behavior: avoiding things you would like to do, withdrawing from others, snapping at people, freaking out, pacing, talking fast, running from or escaping situation, seeking reassurance by checking or asking over and over to make sure things will be ok, using drugs or alcohol to cope
Learning as much as you can about anxiety is an important first step in figuring out how to deal with it. Knowledge is power!
What you need to know about anxiety
Body Talk:
The human body is programed to survive therefore when we are faced with a “threatening situation” the prehistoric part of our brain (amygdala) instantly sends out a threat signal. This causes chemicals and hormones such as adrenaline to be released into the bloodstream preparing the body to either fight the threat or flee. This automatic response is known as the “fight or flight response” or the “stress response.” The chemicals and hormones released prepare us for action by raising our blood sugar, heart rate, blood pressure, pulse, slowing our digestion, dilating our pupils and causing us to breathe more shallowly. This reaction causes many uncomfortable physical sensations in the body. Some of which are: tense muscles, sweaty palms, trembling legs and/or hands, faster heartbeat, faster breathing, queasy stomach, light headedness and dry mouth. The physical exertion of fighting or running disperses the hormones and body chemistry returns to normal.
To learn more about what is happening in the body and why go to www.youth.anxietybc.com/your-body-protects-you.
When we are in continuous threatening or stressful situations stress hormones and chemicals are constantly being released into the body. If we do nothing to calm our body and disperse the hormones and chemicals we may experience ongoing physical symptoms such as: stomach aches, headaches, body aches/ pain, jitteriness and shakiness. Over time, the buildup of these hormones and chemicals can lead to chronic physical and emotional health problems.
Anxious Thinking:
Let’s face it, we all talk to ourselves. It’s called “self-talk.” It’s what we say to ourselves when we are excited, happy, sad, scared, angry, etc. Self-talk can be helpful or unhelpful. Positive self- talk is encouraging, motivating and hopeful. It increases your confidence and reassures you can get through stressful situations. Negative self-talk is harsh, critical, judge-mental and demeaning. It tries to make you believe that you aren’t capable, you’re not good enough, bad things will happen and everything is out of your control. Negative self-talk bullies us, tricks us and lies to us.
Anxious thinking sounds like this:
- I’ll never be able to do this, so why bother trying
- I’m going to fail that test because I’m so stupid
- If I go to that party, I know no one will talk to me and I know I’ll do something embarrassing
- Those kids are looking at me, they must be talking about me
- My teacher is going to ask me a question in front of the class and I know I’ll mess up and everyone will laugh
- I know someone is going to try to hurt me when I’m walking home
- What’s that noise, someone is trying to break in to my house
- My Mom is not here yet, something must have happened to her
- My boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t responding to my texts she/he must be with someone else
- My friend didn’t say hi to me when I saw her this morning before class, she must be mad at me
- I failed this test, I’m such a loser. I’m never going to amount to anything
Unhealthy or negative thinking patterns are sometimes referred to as “Thinking Traps” or “Cognitive Distortions.” These patterns of thinking tend to trap us in anxiety. Take a look at the following examples to see if you get caught in some of these thinking traps:
- All or nothing thinking – looking at things in absolute, black or white categories. If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all.
- Overgeneralization – viewing a negative event as a never ending pattern. If something happens once or twice, it “always” happens.
- Mental Filter – picking out a single negative detail and dwelling on it so much that everything becomes negative.
- Mind Reading – assuming we know that others are thinking badly about us.
- Fortune Telling – anticipating that things will turn out badly and believing that this prediction is an already established fact.
- Emotional Reasoning – assuming our negative emotions are a reflection of how things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”
- Mountains and Molehills (Magnification or Minimization) – exaggerating the negatives or risk of danger and minimizing the positives or how things are most likely to turn out.
- Catastrophizing – Imagining and believing the worst possible thing will happen.
- Personalization and Blame – my friend looks upset, I must have done something wrong and she’s mad at me.
To learn more about anxious thinking and to see if you get caught in these traps go to www.youth-anxietybc.com/thinking-traps
Anxious behavior:
Anxious behavior serves a purpose. It’s the things we do to decrease the intensity of anxious thoughts and feelings. Often these things help us feel somewhat better in the moment but do not help us in the long run. The following are some examples of unhealthy coping behaviors:
- Asking over and over what’s going to happen and if everything will be ok.
- Checking and rechecking to make sure things are safe (doors locked, stove off).
- Refusing to go to school, out with friends or join activities.
- Needing to use alcohol or drugs to take the edge off in order to do things
- Lashing out at others (physically or verbally) when pressured to do the things
- Pacing, talking fast
This is how anxiety works:
Example #1:
Walking down the hall at school, you see a good friend talking with some other kids. They are looking in your direction and laughing.
Anxious response: You feel your heart beat faster, your stomach feels nauseous and you immediately conclude that they must be talking about you and laughing. You go to class but find it hard to pay attention to the teacher because you are thinking that your friend doesn’t like you anymore. You have thoughts going through your head like… I’m such a loser. This always happens after people get to know me. No one ever wants to be my friend. You feel so lousy that at break, you decide you don’t want to be around anyone, especially if they think that way about you so you leave the school and skip the rest of your classes. The next day at school, you walk with your head down, not looking at anyone. You don’t want anyone to notice you and you don’t want to see people looking at you. After several days of this you begin to develop headaches and stomach aches. You can’t fall asleep because you’re thinking about what happened and what might happen the next day. You avoid your friend because you already know how he/she thinks about you. You become more and more withdrawn and eventually find it extremely difficult to get to school therefore you stop going.
Non-anxious response: You feel your heart beat faster, your stomach feel nauseous and you begin to think they must be talking about you and laughing. You then question your thought….why would they be laughing at me? Yes, they are looking over here but could be a coincidence. Maybe, someone told a joke and then my friend said, hey there’s Matt and that’s why they happened to be looking over this way. You decide to go over and check it out.
Example #2
It’s a stormy night and you’re in bed trying to fall asleep. You hear a noise outside your bedroom window:
Anxious response: Immediately, you feel your heart racing and pounding. You think about what the noise might be and conclude that someone is trying to break into your house. After all, you know someone whose house was broken into and you just watched a scary movie about intruders breaking into a house. You tell yourself that you’re in danger and something bad is going to happen. You begin to feel panicky. You lay there for hours feeling scared. Eventually you fall asleep but are so tired in the morning you sleep in and are late for school. Your parents are upset that you didn’t get up on time. At night, to reassure yourself that no one is going to break into your house, you check to make sure all of the doors and windows are closed and locked. Whenever you hear a sound you get up to check that everything is ok and go double check that everything is still locked. Sometimes, you’re up so often checking that you don’t get enough sleep. You sleep in, parents are upset, and you’re late again…..
Non-anxious response: Immediately, you feel your heart racing and pounding. You begin to remember about the house that was broken into and the movie you watched. You notice you are beginning to have unhelpful thoughts that are making things worse. You take some deep breaths, to calm your body and you start to challenge your thoughts. What else could be making that noise? You remember that the weather outside is stormy and the wind is strong. You have a tree outside of your window and the branches are blowing hard against your window. You realize that is what is causing the noise. Just to make sure, you take a peek outside your window....just as you suspected, the wind. You get back into bed and drift off to sleep.
Learning to cope and manage anxiety:
All the time and energy that can be spent on worrying about situations we feel anxious about is actually a big waste of time and makes anxiety become bigger and stronger. Although we can’t control every situation we do have control over our reaction.
The following are some helpful anxiety and stress management tips:
- Take care of your physical health care needs (get enough sleep, exercise and eat a healthy well-balanced diet). If you’re not sure take a look at the physical health and well-being section of this website.
- Limit the amount of energy drinks and caffeine in your diet. Caffeine is a stimulant and can intensify the fight or flight response.
- Avoid alcohol and drugs.
- Find time to have fun and relax (put in daily monitoring sheet)
- Learn how to relax and have fun! Incorporate deep breathing and relaxation strategies into your daily life
- Develop a healthy balance in your life. If necessary make some changes in order to achieve this. (set small, realistic goals for change)
- Learn how to change negative thoughts into more positive and realistic thoughts
- Learn how to confront the things that make you anxious
Deep Breathing:
When we are anxious or stressed we tend to breathe too fast and shallow which leads to increased shortness of breath and further hyperventilation. Slow, deep breathing can relieve anxiety and help prevent panic attacks.
Breathing deeply helps to clean our blood by removing the carbon dioxide and increasing oxygen therefore deep breathing is beneficial for over-all health and wellbeing.
Calm Breathing Exercise
Calm breathing is easy to do and very relaxing.
- Sit or lie flat in a comfortable position
- Put one hand on your belly just below your ribs and the other hand on your chest
- Take a slow deep breath in through your nose for 4 counts (let your belly push your hand out)
- Hold for 2 – 3 counts
- Slowly breathe out through your mouth for 4 counts (you should feel your hand go back down)
- Hold for 2-3 count
- Do this breathing 5 – 10 times (slowly)
Practice calm breathing on a daily basis. It can help reduce day to day stress and anxiety.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation:
When we are stressed or anxious we tend to keep the muscles in our bodies tense. Sometimes we aren’t even able to recognize what being relaxed feels like. Muscle relaxation exercise is about tensing and then relaxing all of the muscles in your body, one at a time.
If you practice muscle relaxation on a regular basis you will learn to tell the difference between tense and relaxed muscles. Most people who practice this on a regular basis find that they generally feel more relaxed and find that body aches/pains subside.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation Exercise: Set aside about 15 minutes to complete this exercise and find a quiet, comfortable place that you won’t be interrupted. Basically there are 2 steps to this exercise – tense and release. The steps are the same regardless of which muscle group you are focusing on. While doing this exercise it is extremely important to deliberately focus on and notice the tension and the relaxation of the muscles.
Step 1:
- Focus on a muscle group, for example your left hand
- Take a slow, deep breath in and squeeze your hand as tight as you can for at least 5 seconds.
Remember to focus on one muscle group at a time. Pay attention that you are not tensing other body parts at the same time.
Step 2:
- After about 5 seconds quickly let all of the tightness flow out of the tense muscle
- Exhale as you do this
- You should feel the muscle become loose and limp as the tension flows out
Visualization exercises:
Visualizing a calm and peaceful place in your mind helps to decrease stress and anxiety. Basically, you are taking a vacation in your mind. Practice this exercise in a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted.
- Close your eyes
- Slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Do this 5 times
- Imagine yourself in a calm, peaceful and safe place (real or make believe)
- Picture yourself in this place. What sounds do you hear? What do you smell? What does the weather feel like? Is it warm or cool? Is it day time or night time? What colors do you see?
- Allow yourself to relax
- Continue to imagine yourself in this special place while focusing on your breathing
Managing Worry:
Worrying constantly about something doesn’t change the outcome. In fact, the more time we spend worrying actually makes us feel worse. Anxious people tend to spend a great deal of time worrying. Sometimes it’s hard for them to focus and concentrate on other things. They often feel uptight and tense and find it very hard to unwind. Reducing the amount of time spent on worrying can reduce anxiety levels. Scheduling 15 – 20 minutes of “worry time” into your day can be helpful.
Setting up Worry Time:
- Pick a time of the day that you will have your “worry time.”
- When worries pop into your head outside of worry time, write them down and bring list to worry time
- When worry time arrives, set a timer for no longer than 20 mins.
- During this time, go through your list and determine which worries you have control over and which ones you don’t
- Try to use this time proactively. Problem solve possible solutions. Write down any plans made
- Stop worry time as soon as timer goes off. If any worries are left unresolved bring them the next day to worry time.
Managing worries with “worry time” is helpful but it takes time to get into the habit of only worrying during “worry time.” Be patient with yourself.
Challenging negative thinking:
Changing how we think about situations can help us learn to cope with anxiety. Negative thoughts and “Thinking Traps” keep us feeling anxious. It’s important to recognize when this type of thinking is happening so we can stop it in its tracks.
First of all, are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you see the glass half full or half empty? If anxiety is making life hard then you are likely a negative thinker and getting caught up in thinking traps. Because negative thoughts are automatic it will take time and effort to change this to be more positive and optimistic. It’s important to be patient and give it time. Sometimes it may even feel phony but do it anyway! You’ve heard the saying….”You got to fake it to make it!”
When anxiety is getting in the way of life ask yourself the following questions to help challenge your negative thoughts or self-talk:
- Am I falling into a thinking trap? (mind-reading, all or nothing thinking)
- What is the evidence that this thought is true? Not true?
- What is the likelihood of this actually happening? Am I 100% sure it will happen? How many times has it happened before?
- What would I say to a friend who had this thought?
- If it did happen, what can I do to handle it?
- What is the worst that could happen?
- Do I have control over this situation?
- What are my choices? What can I do? Who can help me?
- What is a more positive way to look at this?
- What can I say to myself that would be more helpful and encouraging?
Exposure plan: “Face your Fears.”
Purposefully putting yourself in situations that make you feel anxious may seem absurd. Why would you do that to yourself? The reason being…so anxiety doesn’t have a hold on you. You take control and show it that you are bigger and stronger than it is. It is not going to get in the way of life!
Developing a step by step plan of how to conquer a fear is what an exposure plan is. It is not jumping directly into the pool if you are scared of water! You might start of by visiting the pool, looking at the water, sticking your hand in the water, then toe, then foot, building up slowly until your whole body is in the water. It’s important to start with the least intimidating step then work your way up. Remember that you will feel different levels of anxiety at each step. Use deep breathing and positive self-talk to decreases anxious thoughts and feelings at each step. Do each step as many times as needed until it is not a big deal anymore then move on to the next step. Sometimes it helps to incorporate little rewards along the way (at completion of a really hard step). This may take several days, weeks or months. It’s your plan. This is hard work so be patient and kind to yourself and make sure to celebrate progress along the way!
For further information and guidance on developing a coping step plan visit www.youth-anxietybc.com/exposure-plans.
Seek Support
If anxiety is affecting your mental health and making life hard it’s important to seek support. Talk to your parent, health care provider or school guidance counselor. Anxiety disorders are very common and are very treatable with the right intervention.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is one of the highest recommended treatments for anxiety disorders. Cognitive Behavior Therapy helps people manage anxiety symptoms by teaching strategies that help to identify anxiety provoking situations, manage physical symptoms, recognize and challenge negative, thinking patterns, develop effective problem solving skills and develop coping strategies to face fears.
More Resources
Helpful apps:
- MindShift is an app designed to help teens and young adults cope with anxiety. It can help you change how you think about anxiety. Rather than trying to avoid anxiety, you can make an important shift and face it.
Youth Voices
How would you describe Anxiety?
How can others help?
This doesn't help.
Please…
- Don’t try to disguise judgements as comments or advice
- Don’t give ultimatums to someone struggling with anxiety
- Consider that if we could calm down, we would
- Don’t bombard me with advice
What would you like them to say that would be more helpful?
Is there anything you would like to say about anxiety?
- Anxiety sucks
- It’s so much more than just being nervous. It can make the “simpliest” things (like ordering food, talking on the phone, standing in line alone, raising your hand in class, etc.) really hard/impossible
- Anxiety and depression go hand and hand.