Depression
Depression is a pattern of symptoms - thoughts, feelings, behaviors and physical symptoms that can last a long time and often get worse over time. Not everyone experiences depression the same way. Some people have more trouble with some symptoms and don’t really experience other. The symptoms may not always be the same. They can get better for a little while, and then become worse again. Or symptoms can steadily get worse over time.
Important questions to ask yourself are:
- “How am I feeling most of the time?”
- “Does the way that I feel most of the have a negative effect on my life?”
What is it like?
Thoughts:
- Finding it hard to concentrate
- Difficulty focusing on the future
- Lack of interest in things you used to like to do
Behaviors:
- Crying a lot
- School/work performance drops
- Don’t want to socialize with friends or family
- Can’t seem to get motivated
- Reckless behaviors like alcohol and drug use
Feelings:
- Feeling numb or empty
- Excessive feelings of guilt, even over minor things
- Feel sad or down most of the time
- Feelings of worthlessness or shame
- Feeling that life is not worth living
- Feeling really irritated
Physical symptoms:
- Changes in appetite leading to either a weight gain or a weight loss
- No energy, feel tired all the time
- Changes in sleep pattern, either sleeping too much or not enough
- Feeling restless and unable to relax
- Unexplained aches and pains like headaches and stomach aches
Tell me more
Do you ever have days when your mood is so up and down you feel as though you are on an emotional roller coaster? You are having a good day, feeling happy then suddenly out of the blue your mood changes and you are feeling sad? It is not uncommon for teenagers to have mood swings but it can often leave the individual and those around them feeling confused, overwhelmed and wondering if what they are experiencing is “normal” or more indicative of a serious mood problem such as depression.
“I feel so depressed” is a statement many people make when experiencing feelings of sadness in response to an upsetting situation such as having an argument with a friend, getting a bad mark on a test or going through a relationship break up. Feeling extreme sadness after the death of a loved one or a pet is normal and to be expected. If you have been feeling down for 2 weeks or longer and you do not know why it is very important to let a trusted adult know and to see your health care provider.
There is a big difference between feeling depressed and having Depression and it is very important to learn what the differences are so treatment can be provided as soon as possible. Depression is a very treatable mental health illness which unfortunately can easily be overlooked or dismissed as “normal” teenage moodiness. Recognizing the symptoms of Depression early so intervention and support can be provided is crucial. It can mean the difference between life and death.
What is Depression?
“A depressive disorder is a ‘whole-body’ illness, involving your body, mood and thoughts. It affects the way you eat and sleep, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you think about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely ‘pull themselves together’ and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment; however can help most people who suffer from depression.” (Mood Disorders Association of Manitoba Inc).
The symptoms of Depression can range in severity and will not be the same for everyone. It is important to pay close attention to how you feel and not compare yourself or your situation to others. You are important and how you feel needs to be taken seriously (by you and by others).
What you can do to feel better
It’s important for you to know that depression is not your fault, and you didn’t do anything to cause it. This can be difficult to remember, especially if you’re feeling really guilty about a lot of things. The good news is you do have some control over feeling better. There are things you can do to help yourself like staying connected to friends and family, making healthy lifestyle decisions, and keeping stress under control.
Keep track of your feelings
- Stress and worry can take a big toll, even leading to depression. If you find you are constantly feeling stressed out or worried talk to someone. You are not alone and there are people who are willing to help.
- Talk to a teacher or school counselor if exams or classes seem overwhelming. There might be things they can do to make school less difficult.
- Sometimes there are things you don’t feel you can talk to your parents about. This could be a health issue—like a pregnancy scare or drug problem. Or it could be an emotional issue that you don’t feel ready to share with your family. In these cases you can talk to your medical provider, you could attend a Teen Drop in Clinic or call a help line. The important thing is that you don’t try to go it alone.
- If you’re dealing with relationship, friendship, or family problems, talk to an adult you trust. Your school may have a counselor you can go to for help, or you may want to ask your parents to make an appointment for you to see a therapist.
Try not to isolate yourself
- When you’re depressed, you may not feel like seeing anybody or doing anything but isolating yourself only makes depression worse. At first being social might be really hard but keep trying, even if that’s the last thing you want to do. Eventually, you may find that time spent with others helps you to feel better.
- Spend time with friends who are upbeat, and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid hanging out with people who abuse drugs or alcohol, get you into trouble, or who make you feel insecure.
- Try to limit the amount of time you spend on things like social media, surfing the internet or playing video games. Even though some of these activities do allow you to interact with others this is not the same as socializing.
Keep your body healthy
- The condition of your body is connected to your mood and emotions. Diet, sleep and exercise all have a huge impact on how you feel emotionally. Improving your physical health habits may help with depression. Not eating enough or eating lots of unhealthy food affects things like your blood sugar, which can impact your mood. Your body needs vitamins and minerals so the better you eat, the better you feel.
- Exercising while you feel depressed can seem very difficult, especially if you have a lot of physical symptoms. Exercising releases chemicals called endorphins, which act on your brain to make you feel happier.
- Sleep is also very important. While it is important you get enough sleep it is also important to be careful you are not sleeping too much. Sleeping a lot can be a way of trying to escape your problems but too much sleep can leave you feeling even worse.
Avoid alcohol and drugs
- It may seem like drinking or doing drugs are a way to escape from your feelings and feel better even if it’s just for a short time. But substance use can actually make depression worse. For some teens, alcohol and drugs can actually cause depression in the first place.
- Alcohol and drug use can also increase self-harming behaviors and bring about suicidal feelings.
- If you’re addicted to alcohol or drugs and are feeling depressed you need to seek help. You will need special treatment for your substance problem on top of whatever treatment you’re receiving for your depression.
Sometimes though these things are not enough, or you might need therapy or medication to help you while you sort out your feelings. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. It can be hard to talk about your feelings. Look into your treatment options with your parents. If medication is being considered, do your research before making a decision, as some antidepressants used for adults can actually make teens feel worse. Remember that you are the most important member of your healthcare team.
Talking to an adult you trust about depression
Talking to your parents.
- For many teens the first adult they turn to are their parents. Even if it seems that your parents are angry or frustrated with you that doesn’t mean they don’t want to help. Your parents do not want you to suffer, but they may not understand what you are going through or know how to help.
- It’s possible that your parents don’t know very much about depression. You might need to educate them, let them know what you have learned about depression. They may not have recognized the symptoms of depression so talk to them about how your feeling. They can help you by supporting you themselves and by getting you professional support if you need it.
- If your parents are abusive to you in any way, or if they have problems of their own, like substance use or issues with their own mental health, it might be more difficult for them to take care of you. In this situation, find another adult you trust (such as a relative, teacher, counselor, or coach). This person can either help you approach your parents, or direct you toward the support you need.
- If you really feel like don’t have anyone you can talk to there are many hotlines, services, and support groups that can help.
Talking to other adults
- If you feel you can’t talk to your parents there are other adults you can turn to. Grandparents and relatives may be able to help. You could also try speaking with coaches or teachers.
No matter what, talk to someone, especially if you are having any thoughts of harming yourself or others. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do, and the first step on your way to feeling better.
It can be hard to open up about how you’re feeling—especially when you’re feeling depressed, hopeless, ashamed, or worthless. Accepting your feelings and opening up about them with someone you trust will help you feel less alone.
No matter what it feels like, people love and care about you, and if you can find the courage to talk about your depression, the people in your life will try to help you.
Youth Voices
How would you describe depression?
How can others help?
Your friends and family want to help you cope with your depression, but might not know how to.
These comments don't help.
Sometimes people give suggestions that just don't help. What are some things that people have said to you?
Questions to ask yourself
“How am I feeling most of the time?”
“Does the way that I feel have a negative effect on my life?”
“Have my feelings been changing? When? What else was happening at that time?”
I may not want to talk, but I don't want to be alone.
What others can do to help
Information for friends
Friends can be the first ones to notice changes in other friends. It may be a change in mood, certain behaviours, or in activities they previously enjoyed. You may have noticed that your friend seems to be tired all the time or easily irritated. Maybe they've stopped hanging out and spend more time alone. Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint what’s different about them but generally you have a sense that something is wrong. Maybe they’ve confided in you that they are struggling with their mental health.
Many young people turn to their friends for help if they are having a problem (of any kind). Knowing how to support a friend is an important part of friendship.
Is your friend depressed?
Your friend has seemed really down lately and you are beginning to worry about them. You think they might be depressed but how do you know it’s not just a bad mood or a hard phase in their lives? Look for common warning signs of teen depression:
- Your friend doesn’t want to do the things you used to love to do together.
- Your friend seems to be really angry a lot of the time.
- Your friend starts using alcohol or drugs or hanging with a bad crowd.
- Your friend stops going to classes and other activities.
- Your friend starts to say really terrible things about themselves like being worthless, or stupid.
- Your friend’s eating and sleeping habits change.
- Your friend starts doing things they ordinarily wouldn’t do, like shoplifting.
- Your friend starts to harm themselves on purpose, things like cutting or burning themselves.
- Your friend starts talking about death or suicide.
I don't know
what to say
or do.
What can you do to help?
You might be the first and maybe even the only person your friend talks to about their feelings. This might seem like a very scary responsibility but there are things you can do to help.
Encourage your friend to talk to you about how they are feeling. It can be hard to talk about emotions and your friend may not open up right away. Here are some things you might say to start the conversation about depression.
- You seem like you are really down, and not yourself.
- I really want to help you. Is there anything I can do?
- I’m here to listen if you want to talk.
Don’t feel like you have to have all the answers or be able to fix your friend.
- Try and resist the urge to make suggestions or tell your friend what you think they should do.
- Just by listening and responding in a non-judgmental and reassuring manner, you are helping in a major way.
Encourage your friend to talk to an adult who can help them.
- Urge your depressed friend to talk to an adult such as a parent, teacher, or counselor.
- If your friend is afraid to talk to an adult about how they are feeling offer to go with them for support.
Stand by your friend even if they don’t seem to want you around. Sometimes people who are depressed try to push other people away by saying or doing things that are hurtful. Try not to take these things personally.
Be aware of your own emotions and how you are feeling.
- While it is important for you to care for your friend you have to be sure you are also taking care of yourself.
- Be sure to hang out with other friends and to spend time with your family. Don’t become isolated along with your depressed friend.
- Although your friend may at times say and do things you don’t like it is never acceptable for your friend to threaten to hurt you or to be violent in any way. If these things happen tell an adult right away.
If you suspect your friend is hurting themselves or is suicidal tell an adult right away.
- If your friend jokes or talks about suicide, if they start giving away their possessions or saying goodbye, tell a trusted adult immediately.
- Your only responsibility at this point is to get your friend help, and get it fast.
- Even if you promised not to tell, your friend needs your help. It’s better to have a friend who is temporarily angry at you than one who is no longer alive
Information for parents, caregivers, and teachers
It is common to think of the teenage years as being full of emotional ups and downs. However, depression in teens is a much more serious issue. Teenagers also exhibit depression differently than adults. Depressed teens may appear more angry or hostile than depressed adults and may “act out” or “act in” in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain. These are some signs of teen depression.
-
New or worsening problems at school.
Depression can cause low energy and concentration difficulties. At school, this may lead to poor attendance, a drop in grades, or frustration with schoolwork in a formerly good student. -
Running away from home.
For many depressed teens this can be a cry for help. -
Abusing drugs or alcohol.
Substance use can be a sign that the teen is trying to “self-medicate” their depression. Unfortunately, substance abuse only makes things worse. -
Internet addiction.
Just like with substances, depressed teens may use the internet to escape from their feelings. Excessive computer use increases their isolation, making them more depressed. -
Low self-esteem.
Depressed teens often express intense feelings of guilt and shame, they may state that they feel worthless and use terms like “ugly” and “stupid” to describe themselves. -
Displays reckless behavior that is unusual for them.
This is another way depressed teens may try to escape. They may engage in criminal activities such as stealing or vandalism, or engage in dangerous behaviors such as reckless driving, binge drinking, and unsafe sex. -
Becoming violent towards self or others.
One of the most extreme ways depressed teens may act and cry for help is by deliberately harming themselves. Behaviors like cutting or burning are very complicated and may be a way of escaping their feelings through physical pain. -
Anger
Some depressed teens—usually boys who are the victims of bullying—become violent. These teens may lash out at others out of frustration and anger.
What others should not do (triggers)
Don't minimize the way the person is feeling with statements like:
- cheer up
- what do you have to be depressed about
- what’s wrong with you
Don't tell the person what to do instead of listening to them
don't tell the person what they are feeling (being too directive)
What a call for help may look like
- Self-abusive behaviors like cutting
- Eating disorders
- Use of drugs and alcohol
- Risky behaviors